Everyone has someone in their life they love but if they're with them more than 10 minutes, they think they may go crazy. These people seem to push our buttons or get on our nerves and sometimes we're not even sure how or why.
Over the years, I've learned that those people don't get to me as much as other people. Sorry if I offend anyone, but I seem to have a higher tolerance for those who annoy people. I don't know why. I have come to love those people in my life and have gotten to know some of them very well. While I have discovered this "high-tolerance" of mine, I've also come to learn something else. Once people cross the line, I have a tendency to keep them there. And when I say cross the line, I mean when they've pushed my buttons too far or have hurt me or crossed me in some way. I don't forgive easily. I tend to not forget what people have done. I don't believe in forgiving and forgetting. I believe in forgiving. It's hard to do, though. I struggle with forgiveness. I know people say forgiveness is more for you than the other person, but still, it's not easy! Especially for a person who holds things in and doesn't want the world to see what's going on! 9 times out of 10, people, especially the person who the emotions are directed toward, will never know what I'm feeling. I realize that it is not always healthy to keep things in. But being the ultra-private person and distrusting person that I am and being hurt too many times, I fall on the side of caution and keep it inside.
I realize I seem to write about a lot of my negative traits, but I'm being honest here. Honest with myself, and whoever happens to be reading this. I believe it is important to know some of the harder things about yourself as well as the positives. Knowing these things allows you to embrace yourself fully and wholly. I'm not there yet. I think that is a lifelong journey people take.
So I wonder, do those around me forgive and forget or tend to hold grudges?
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